Dawn
by CauseChocolateRocks
Summary: He hated her actions. He hated his reactions. He hated that thing he couldn't quite place that he was missing out on. But he loved her. And he just couldn't see the dawn after the night with her in his head. Sequel to "Carnival of Rust". Songfic. Oneshot. HGRL


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: OK, so… I wasn't planning on doing this but… Here is the sequel to "Carnival of Rust". Hope you like it! Written for the song 'Dawn', by Poets of the Fall. Please Review!**

**Dawn**

_**Remus Lupin**_

_He wondered if it was the whole world decaying or if it was just his life going down like a carnival of rust._

_And as he wondered, he didn't see Hermione at her window, staring at the moon. He didn't hear her say to a three-month old baby in her arms: "Look Romulus, it's the moon. It's the most beautiful thing in the universe…" and kiss the baby's head. _

…_**3 years later…**_

He hated it. He hated everything about his new life. Sure, he had a job, a house, money, even a bloody _Order of Merlin_, yet he couldn't bring himself to be happy. He liked to pretend he didn't know why he was unhappy, but, the truth was, he knew exactly what was wrong.

It was _her_.

He loved her. Still. And it was killing him to see her everyday, walking past his office without even noting his presence. And as much as he loved her, he hated her actions. So, every single day, at 9:46 _precisely_, he would glue himself to his window, to watch her come out of the chimney 14 in a flash of green fire.

It wasn't enough. It wasn't _near_ enough for him. He wanted to talk to her, be able to hug her, kiss her, _love_ her for the rest of his life, but he couldn't.

He had lasted three years that way. In those three years, not much had changed. He had taken to smoking and drinking, but that was about it. The only person he talked to outside work was Harry, to get news from Teddy. The little turquoise-haired boy was the only person he could count on for showing affection, it seemed.

The Wizengamot had gone back on its decision and Remus was now able to take his son back on weekends which were not full moons. He found he rather enjoyed having someone to cherish. Every Saturday, they would go to Fortescue's. Teddy would take mint-raspberry with coconut chips and Remus would take chocolate. Dark chocolate. Like her eyes…

Remus groaned and ran a hand through his hair. Today was Friday, the full moon was two weeks ago and tomorrow, Remus would pick his son up and they would spend the week-end together.

He was lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't sleep. It happened sometimes. And usually, he would go down, take a swig of Firewhiskey and head off to bed. But there, he didn't want to go to sleep. He just wanted to move on. He knew she had, but he couldn't bring himself to forget.

He also had that strange feeling, like something was being kept from him. It was probably the beginning of a dream forming, so he gave up and closed his eyes.

The dream was strange. He was somewhere he recognised all too well. Hermione's flat. She was on a sofa, a glass of wine in her hand, crying over a picture. Suddenly, he heard running footsteps coming closer. Hermione dried her tears quickly and set her glass on the table in front of her.

A little boy, no older than three, ran down the corridor and barged in the living room. "Mummy!" he yelled. "There's a spider in my room!"

Hermione smiled. "I'm coming, Romulus, just give me a couple of seconds and I'll be there." she said gently.

The boy nodded and headed back towards the corridor. When he was out of sight, Hermione gulped down the rest of her wine, she one last tear and put the picture back on its shelf. Remus walked over to the picture. He recognised it instantly.

It was a picture taken directly after the first war. Actually, it was more of a fragment of that picture. And on this fragment was only one person. Remus himself.

He woke up with a jolt. He was covered in sweat, and tears were running down his face. He tried wiping them away but found there were more coming. _A dream…_ he told himself. _It was all a dream._

But that only made him cry harder. Hermione didn't want him, he had to remind himself. She had, after all, said so when he came to express his feeling towards her three years prior. _"I don't want this, and I don't want you."_ She had, quite literally, broke him down, as if he had been nothing more than a rusty swing.

And now, three years after, he still couldn't bring himself to see the dawn after the night. He was stuck here in this darkness that was made up of everything he had built, all the love he still harboured, that came undone right before his eyes. It was something he couldn't fight or flee from, something that was like storm with no end, a worldwide hurricane.

And he couldn't face this turning tide. Not alone at least. He needed someone by his side. And not just anyone.

He needed Hermione.

As he thought that, he had the most peculiar prickling sensation, as if she was not the only thing he was missing out from.

He willed himself to forget and, before his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep.

He woke up the next day feeling strangely relaxed. He got up stretched and turned to the alarm clock. His eyes bulged and he swore.

He was supposed to have fetched Teddy five minutes ago.

He got dressed and freshened in a record time, before grabbing his wand and Disapparting to Grimmauld Place. Harry was on the doorstep, looking slightly worried. When he saw Remus, he smiled, relieved. "Remus," he said, walking towards him. "Teddy and I were beginning to think you wouldn't show up!"

"Yeah well," Remus mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "Miracles happen."

"Actually, you're right." Harry said. Catching Remus' puzzled expression, he continued: "Come inside, I'll tell you."

Remus stepped inside what used to house the Famous and Most Ancient House of Black. Harry had completely redecorated the place. It now no longer sported the numerous tapestries and portraits it did when Sirius was still around. The walls had been repainted with light colours, to give it more space, and the ceilings now shone with the sky outside, light the Great Hall ceiling at Hogwarts.

Harry led Remus inside his study, before nodding him towards a plush armchair. He sat down too and took out a piece of paper which he handed to Remus.

The latter took it and raked his eyes through it. Then his eyes opened so wide he was surprised they didn't fall out. He read, re-read and re-re-read it, but it still said the same thing. This wasn't a dream. "They… They…" he stuttered, unable to believe it.

Harry nodded. "The Wizengamot found you fit to take care of children. You have full custody of your son, Remus."

"I…" Remus swallowed. "I can take Teddy home?" Harry smiled and nodded. "I… I don't know how to thank you."

Harry shook his head. "It's not me you should thank, it's Hermione. She's the one that coaxed the whole world into believing equality between species. I only pushed our good minister in the right direction." he explained, smiling.

Remus froze. Hermione had done this? For _him_? He mentally shook his head. No. She did it for SPEW, she did it for the Hogwarts house-elves, she did it for _anyone_, but for him. And he knew that. Yet he couldn't help but feel slight hope that he knew would hurt a lot later on.

Just then, Teddy barged in the room, and saw his father there. "_Daddy!_" he shrieked, and launched himself in Remus' arms. The latter smiled slightly, hugging his son back. It felt nice to have a little bundle of joy that loved him. It felt nice to have a son…

The prickly feeling came back. He didn't know what it was, but it was definitely something he didn't know and it was starting to annoy him. "Hey, Ted." Remus sighed.

Teddy pulled back a smile plastered on his face. "Aunt Mione's here!" he said. Remus froze. So did Harry.

"Why?" the latter asked.

Teddy turned to his uncle. "She said she has an important meeting and she'd like could to keep cousin Romy for the day. Aunt Mione's my favourite aunt, and you're my favourite uncle."

Before Remus could stop himself, he went out of the door, Teddy in his arms, and walked quickly to the entrance. There she was.

She was wearing a long black pencil skirt slit on the back, which showed an interesting part of her leg, a plain white shirt, tucked in, and a black cardigan. Despite her very simple looking clothes, she still was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Fear gnawed his insides. He wanted so desperately to remember, but he was afraid that it would be a sentence more than a second chance. But even so, he willed himself not to refuse it, because he didn't know what her reaction would be. So he stared.

When she saw him, she gasped and held something behind her back. Teddy squirmed. "Daddy, I want to go on the floor!" he whined. Remus let him go. He vaguely heard Teddy say something to someone and run off, but his attention was focused on _her_.

After a couple of minutes spent staring, he said. "Hermione…" but the words got stuck in his throat. He walked over to her so that her body was mere inches from his. "Hermione, I-" he tried to say, but she threw herself to him and hugged him so tightly his lungs felt full of water.

She started sobbing. "Remus, I'm so sorry!" she blubbered. "I should have told you, I shouldn't have kicked you out, and now you probably hate me…"

Once recovered from his initial shock, he answered. "Hermione, I could never hate you. I _love _you."

She turned up to him with her tearful eyes. "Really?" she whimpered. He smiled and nodded. She started sobbing again. "I thought I could do it, I thought I could go on and forget you but I just can't! And the truth is… I love you too…"

His heart soared. He could hardly believe this was happening. There were no words to express his joy to her in that moment. So instead, he just pulled her into his arms and kissed her. It was long and sweet, full of emotions and promises, and was only interrupted when a crash was heard from the kitchen.

Teddy came rushing in and jumped in his father's arms. "Daddy, Romy dropped the big metal plate with the flowers on it!" he said.

Just then another voice could be heard. "That's not true!" it shouted.

"Romulus!" Hermione scolded. "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch things that aren't yours?"

"Leave it, Mione." Remus said softly. "You don't know how to tell children off. You just say 'No chocolate for a week,' and they become perfect little angels." He turned to face the owner of the voice and froze.

It was the boy from his dream. He was small, with sandy blond hair that fell carelessly into his chocolate brown eyes, so much like Hermione's. He held his hand behind his back and looked up at his mother, for Hermione was undoubtedly his mother, with the same puppy look Teddy used when he wanted an ice-cream refill. He could only be described as Marauder-ish. Without asking, he knew that it was him he was missing out on.

"Who's this, Mummy?" the boy asked.

"This," Hermione said, putting an arm around Remus' shoulder. "is your father. Remus, I'd like you to meet Romulus Fred Gran-" she coughed. "Lupin." she corrected herself. "Our son." she added softly.

And Remus smiled.


End file.
